STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

I had a pretty sucky day today.  Went to see my neurologist this morning who informed me that she thought it was time that I went for neuropsychological testing.  What's funny is that I was going to ask her about it today too.  But she beat me too it.    We had been talking about how my month had been going and of course I was crying because it hadn't been going very well.  I have been losing entire lumps of time.  And, if that's not bad enough I have been forgetting how to do simple things.  Such as ordering a hamburger at a drive through.  After a medical appointment Gary and I went to White Castle's and for the life of me I couldn't remember how to order a hamburger.  It got me so upset.  He got impatient.  It turned out to be a fiasco.  He ordered the burgers.  I couldn't stop crying.  By the time we got home I was wiped out and ended up having a seizure.  I find that I have seizures more often if I am upset, confused or disoriented.  So its like a Catch 22 situation because the Cerebral Vasculitis causes me to be confused, disoriented and have seizures.  But being confused and disoriented causes me to have seizures too. Go figure?  Anyway, after the neurologist I stopped by my job  for a visit.  It was a visit filled with mixed emotions.  I was very sad being there but very happy to see everyone.  A lot has changed.  Being thre today made me realize that I would have a very hard time working.  I had to take a 4 hour nap when I came home.  Gone are the 10 hour work days.  And then coming home and cooking dinner and doing the house work and helping the kids with school projects and whatever else had to be done around here.  I'm lucky if I can manage to get up in the morning and get out of bed.  Then put up a pot of coffee and get in a shower.  I'm not complaining ......... it's just a statement of facts....... just my life with Lupus.

This is another song that has been going through my head lately.  It's Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

Bunches of hugs and love Luanne

There?s a lady who?s sure
All that glitters is gold
And she?s buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she?s buying a stairway to heaven.

There?s a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
?cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
There?s a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There?s a feeling I get
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it?s whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there?s a bustle in your hedgerow
Don?t be alarmed now,
It?s just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There?s still time to change the road you?re on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won?t go
In case you don?t know,
The piper?s calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How ev?rything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she?s buying a stairway to heaven.