Throughout the past few months Lupus has taken four of our friends. These wonderful woman Valray, Melissa, Kat and Shayner were powerful forces on the Lupus Discussion Board.
They were already there when I, a frightened, newly diagnosed Lupie ventured online to find answers to this mysterious illness I was diagnosed with. These women had amazing guidance and love for all of us, not only the newly diagnosed.
I remember the me from five years ago. Lurking on the board. Afraid and unable to put my fears into perspective. Shayner took me under her wing and slowly taught me the facts of Lupus. Shayner never made light of what a horrible illness Lupus was. But she had a way of comforting me and averting my fears and misunderstanding. Shayner never failed to remind me that I was a strong woman. And, when I became severely depressed and attempted to take my own life, she became angry at me. Telling me how valuable I was. Reminding me that my life meant something. Shayner was one of the few who was responsible for bringing me out of that pit. And, for that I will be ever grateful.
During any of my many crisis, she took my hand and my heart and gently guided me to peace. In part Shayner was responsible for my growth during the last five years since my diagnosis. If not for her I believe I would still be a scared, frightened Lupie.
Now through my tears I can hear her voice. I can hear her telling me that the tales of her youth. She was ill for so long. Unlike me, Shayner was diagnosed at a young age. She was a sickly child and carried the Lupus burden with her for many of her years here on earth. But, she lived her life to the fullest.
When I told Shayner that Gary and I were going to build our own home in Easley, South Carolina she was happy for me.
She was loved. Not only by her husband, George. But by many of us. Especially me.
My friend you are so missed. There are no words that could convey the emptiness your death has left in my life. I am being selfish, yes I know. I wanted you around forever. But God chose to bring you home to him. Your time on earth was finished. You are now in heaven watching over me. Your influence will always be with me. Your advice and guidance will remain with me forever. Thank you so much for that.
Through my sorrow, your life is being celebrated. You will be greatly missed. Rest in peace my dear friend!
I love you dearly.