I wish my mind worked better. I do get moments (they are far and in between) where I can think clearly. During these moments I feel somewhat normal. Today wasn't one of those days
Yesterday wasn't either.
At around 3:00 this unyielding, paralyzing feeling of fatigue came over me. It was pretty horrible. I had to lay down where I was standing. I went right down onto the living room floor. Nothing could get me up. No amount of trying, nothing at all. I remained there for almost 45 minutes.
I had to get up because I was in the middle of cooking dinner. Thank goodness I had decided to put the chicken in the convection oven.
By the time Gary got home from work I was a mess. It still hits me hard when these things happen. It's easy to accept this illness when things are going fine. But even during my better days I still do not have the stamina I once had.
He walked me to bed and told me to go online for a while. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I had no energy to close up the laptop. Thank God for my husband. He is a gem. He came in and took care of everything for me.
The next thing I knew it was midnight. I was awoken by the kids. Most of the time I have a houseful here. I sat with the girls for a little while but had to drag myself back to bed. I fell asleep instantly. For the next thing I remembered was Gary kissing me goodbye at 6:30. I reached out my arms to hug him and he put the blankets back over me.
I looked up again and it was after 9 am. My body was in complete agony. Once again every joint and muscle was in pain. My head was killing me. My eyesight was not great. I kept seeing little flashing circles.
I struggled to the kitchen to get a drink so I could choke down my morning meds. Maybe this will help I thought to myself. Increasing my prednisone dosage to 20 mgs.
About 2 hours later I took a fiorional. I slept on and off for the rest of the day. I ended up having to take 2 percocettes and a valium. This combination seems to be helpful in alleviating my body and head pain. Now my body just feels as if it has been hit by a truck. Believe me this is a huge improvement from the way I was feeling earlier.
Gary is working late therefore I didn't have to worry about cooking. Not that he would have insisted on me cooking. He is so very wonderful about this. I am the one who feels guilty about not being able to do it. Everyone manages to find something to eat.
My son ate farina earlier and then made a tuna sandwich.
Lauren is in the kitchen right now cooking for Greg. Mac and Cheese and some leftover chicken.
I often wonder how others with younger children do it. I also often thank God for a very loving and understanding husband.
I have an appointment with Dr. Goldstein early next month. Let's see what my blood work shows. And, what he has to say about this.
I do know that things with my health could be so much worse. But on days like this when I know that I most likely will be feeling this way for weeks. It pretty much sucks.