I wish my mind worked better.  I do get moments (they are far and in between) where I can think clearly.  During these moments I feel somewhat normal.  Today wasn't one of those days

Yesterday wasn't either.

At around 3:00 this unyielding, paralyzing feeling of fatigue came over me.  It was pretty horrible.  I had to lay down where I was standing.  I went right down onto the living room floor.  Nothing could get me up.  No amount of trying, nothing at all.  I remained there for almost 45 minutes.

I had to get up because I was in the middle of cooking dinner.  Thank goodness I had decided to put the chicken in the convection oven.

By the time Gary got home from work I was a mess.  It still hits me hard when these things happen.  It's easy to accept this illness when things are going fine.  But even during my better days I still do not have the stamina I once had.

He walked me to bed and told me to go online for a while.  I couldn't keep my eyes open and I had no energy to close up the laptop.  Thank God for my husband.  He is a gem.  He came in and took care of everything for me.

The next thing I knew it was midnight.  I was awoken by the kids.  Most of the time I have a houseful here.  I sat with the girls for a little while but had to drag myself back to bed.  I fell asleep instantly.  For the next thing I remembered was Gary kissing me goodbye at 6:30.  I reached out my arms to hug him and he put the blankets back over me.

I looked up again and it was after 9 am.  My body was in complete agony.  Once again every joint and muscle was in pain.  My head was killing me.  My eyesight was not great.  I kept seeing little flashing circles.

I struggled to the kitchen to get a drink so I could choke down my morning meds.  Maybe this will help I thought to myself.  Increasing my prednisone dosage to 20 mgs. 

About 2 hours later I took a fiorional.  I slept on and off for the rest of the day.  I ended up having to take 2 percocettes and a valium.  This combination seems to be helpful in alleviating my body and head pain. Now my body just feels as if it has been hit by a truck.  Believe me this is a huge improvement from the way I was feeling earlier.

Gary is working late therefore I didn't have to worry about cooking.  Not that he would have insisted on me cooking.  He is so very wonderful about this.  I am the one who feels guilty about not being able to do it.  Everyone manages to find something to eat.

My son ate farina earlier and then made a tuna sandwich.

Lauren is in the kitchen right now cooking for Greg.  Mac and Cheese and some leftover chicken.

I often wonder how others with younger children do it.  I also often thank God for a very loving and understanding husband.

I have an appointment with Dr. Goldstein early next month.  Let's see what my blood work shows.   And, what he has to say about this.

I do know that things with my health could be so much worse.  But on days like this when I know that I most likely will be feeling this way for weeks.  It pretty much sucks.

Hugs, Lu