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Thursday, February 19, 2009
Life is what it is. Sometimes you can go to the left or to the right. I believe that it must be taken head on and we need to go straight ahead. Life may not necessary be the life I wanted. It is what has been intended for me. But whatever it is, my life has been predisposed. It is what it is.
My life is not what I had expected it to be at this age. I had never in my wildest expectations thought that I would be chronically ill at almost 52. Having a disease that there is no cure for and the treatment for is imaginative at its best. But I go on, or at least I try to go on. It is what it is.
Don't get me wrong, I still get depressed over this. But those spells are far and in between. They usually occur when I am in a particularly horrible Lupus flare. Otherwise I wrangle through my days. Taking solace that at this point what the universe has thrown at me is not yet life threatening. Painful yes. Brain draining, definitely. Confusing and disturbing, most assuredly. It is what it is.
Because I do live with this eventuality deep down in my psyche I am suspicious and at times I am waiting for the next shoe to drop. But it does not define me. It is what it is.
I maneuver through this life with a sense of tenacity. Recognizing my inability to veto any of this. It is what it is.
Overall, I am a exultant woman and attempt to navigate easily through my life. I may not always succeed, but I do try.
Therefore, even though my life is not what I had planned it to be .... I am accepting of what it is. Again.... It is what it is.
And, as a very dear friend once wrote..... I am not complaining ......... just making a statement of facts.
Every other aspect of my journey through this thing we call life is wonderful.