Thursday, May 17, 2007

Shayner

Throughout the past few months Lupus has taken four of our friends.  These wonderful woman Valray, Melissa, Kat and Shayner were powerful forces on the Lupus Discussion Board.

They were already there when I, a frightened, newly diagnosed Lupie ventured online to find answers to this mysterious illness I was diagnosed with.  These women had amazing guidance and love for all of us, not only the newly diagnosed.

I remember the me from five years ago.  Lurking on the board.  Afraid and unable to put my fears into perspective.  Shayner took me under her wing and slowly taught me the facts of LupusShayner never made light of what a horrible illness Lupus was.  But she had a way of comforting me and averting my fears and misunderstanding.  Shayner never failed to remind me that I was a strong woman.  And, when I became severely depressed and attempted to take my own life, she became angry at me.  Telling me how valuable I was.  Reminding me that my life meant something.  Shayner was one of the few who was responsible for bringing me out of that pit.  And, for that I will be ever grateful.

During any of my many crisis, she took my hand and my heart and gently guided me to peace.  In part Shayner was responsible for my growth during the last five years since my diagnosis.  If not for her I believe I would still be a scared, frightened Lupie.

Now through my tears I can hear her voice.  I can hear her telling me that the tales of her youth.  She was ill for so long.  Unlike me, Shayner was diagnosed at a young age.  She was a sickly child and carried the Lupus burden with her for many of her years here on earth.  But, she lived her life to the fullest. 

When I told Shayner that Gary and I were going to build our own home in Easley, South Carolina she was happy for me. 

She was loved.  Not only by her husband, George.  But by many of us.  Especially me.

My friend you are so missed.  There are no words that could convey the emptiness your death has left in my life.  I am being selfish, yes I know.  I wanted you around forever.  But God chose to bring you home to him. Your time on earth was finished.  You are now in heaven watching over me.  Your influence will always be with me.  Your advice and guidance will remain with me forever.  Thank you so much for that.

Through my sorrow, your life is being celebrated.  You will be greatly missed.  Rest in peace my dear friend!

I love you dearly.

LuAnne

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))  Lu dear, I am thankful Shayner was there for you.  It helped me to write about her and I hope writing has helped you too.
loving you
karyl

Anonymous said...

LuAnne, so sorry for your loss.  These dear friends will live on though.

Krissy  http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristia/SometimesIThink

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry to hear of your loss, in fourfold, LuAnne. I wish you and the lupus community over in the USA strength in coping with their passing. At least they are no longer in pain and distress.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry at the loss of your friends, especially Shayner. Margo

Anonymous said...

 Hello, my name is Elaine....I have Lupus & Fibromylagia &etc.,....so I understand her pain. Lupus is not only a unknown physical disease, but also attacks your emotions & mental state.  I would enjoy chatting with LUANNE AND ANYONE ELSE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTED.  I haven't set up a blog page as yet, but until I can...you can e-mail me @....jennings_cookie@sbcglobal.net.   My prayers are with you all...hang in there.    God Bless You All.

Anonymous said...

You put words to everything I am feeling... everything.  I am so sad... she was so wonderful.  I feel like I was just slapped in the face... I don't know what else to say.

{{{ Lu }}}

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

Anonymous said...

((LU)))
I can second this, Shayner was a great gal with alot of insproation and spirit in helping others. When my Mom passed 4 years ago, she was there, when my sister passed 2 years ago, Shay was there.
Each time she gave me her phone number but I never called her. How I could kick myself for never doing so.


THis past weekend while packing our household items, I grabbed a bunch of papers from the desk. One pice of paper fell to the ground .
It said "Kat Wolfe
----Address
Fort Smith Arkansas

I got chills, it was Kat's address and an order for me to crochet her some Butterfly fridge magnets.
She was so happy and thrilled with them. I'm keeping this piece of paper as the only memory I have of Kat and my old emails I had save.

I'm glad Shayner signed my old journals, I can look back and have great memories of Shay too.
She was a truly caring soul .

Kathy
http://www.LupusMCTD.com

Anonymous said...

God bless you, Lu.
We have another angel watching over us.
Love,
Loretta

Anonymous said...

I hate when you aren't posting... come back...

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/