It's a beautiful autumn day.  The trees are blowing with the morning autumn wind.  Leaves are falling.  This has me remembering a time past.

On days such as today I used to rush to get dressed and go outside with my broom and rake in hand.  My obsessive personality would force me to clean up every leaf that fell.  I would take strange pleasure in seeing a clean sidewalk and lawn.  Happy to view the large black bags filled with the fallen autumn leaves.

Fast forward to this morning.  I can no longer go outside and snatch up every fallen leaf.  I no longer want to.  I am taking great pleasure from seeing all the leaves on the ground.  This is what autumn is all about.  No need for me to rush out and clean everything up.

I believe I have changed.  And, I am sure that this change is for the best of me.  Things are the way they should be.  My life and the leaves are right where they are supposed to be.

Just as I can't change the leaves falling to the ground.  I was never able to get every last one anyway.  I cannot change the path that my life has taken.  Things are different.  Things change.  I now know that I can live with these changes.  I am still ill, but being ill doesn't have to have me.  I will go along with the flow of things the best way I can.

I can rejuvenate my spoons by learning how to use them.  The first and most important way to do this is to learn to accept and not stress.  Life is good.  I am learning to be thankful for what I have rather than grieving over what has been lost.