I know that most of us with chronic invisible illnesses have shared some of the same experiences.  This being said, I am going to share a phone conversation I had this morning.

As many of you know I have not been feeling great during these past few weeks.  I have been experiencing strange headaches.  It actually feels as if my brain is lose in my skull.  And, I feel woozy.  These headaches are not being relieved by my usual "big gun" meds.

I was speaking to a friend who I haven't spoken to in quite a while.  A friend with whom I used to work with.  She called me this morning to see how I was feeling.  I should learn by now to just say "fine."  But I figured since she was calling, she was concerned.  So, I told the truth.

I explained how my body was feeling.  How fatigued I have been and how much my body aches.  I spoke about these new headaches.  And, how they have actually brought me to tears.

Her response to me was that I probably needed new glasses.  While this may be true, I proceeded to clarify my symptoms.  She told me that this happens to her and she just has to wait it out and she feels fine.  She said that her joints hurt her after a long day.  That her memory is not the same.  She said, "Let's face it we are getting older."

During our phone conversation I kept thinking that this woman has no clue what is going on.  That her phone call to me was simply a obligatory call.  At that point I stopped trying to explain my illness.  I decided that it was not worth my energy to speak about this to someone as ignorant as she is.

The sad part of the whole thing is that I was so happy to hear from her.  This phone was supposed to be uplifting to me.  I thought I was past grieving for what has been lost in my life.  I missed my old "friends."  I missed my old life.  In a strange way, I was happy for this phone call.  After it ended I felt relieved.  I felt better about losing my old life.

It made me thankful for those that I do have in my life who understand me completely.  Those who have caught on.  Again, I have to say how wonderful my husband has been through all of this.  He has shown the most wonderful compassion.  He cares for me.  He acknowledges that when I have a headache, it's not always just a headache.  That there can be something more serious going on.  He remembers everything about my illness.  He worries.  He appreciates the effect of my illness.  I am grateful for him and my children.