Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Do you know what it's like to be alone all day?  I'm so lonely.  No one to talk to. I used to be the type of person who had loads of friends.  I was the one who would talk to everyone and anyone.  I did have two very good friends.  But, unfortunantely, as I grew sicker my friends grew more distant.  It's a common thing for people to disappear from your life when you are going through an illness.  Especially when you have a chronic illness.  I changed.  My illness changed me.  My emotions are changed.  My entire life is changed.  I no longer can do the things I once did.

I am very lucky to have a loving family.  A husband who cares for me without thought for himself.  He has proven time and time again that his love for me is forever.  For this I am grateful.  I am proud to be his wife.  My children are loving and I am proud of them.  But, they go about their business.  And, well they should.  I would not expect anything else.  I am not one of those mother's who want their lives to stop because mine is different.

It has just be hard for me to find my nitch.  A new nitch.  I am not complaining.  I am just thinking how much different things have become.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

(((((((((((Lu))))))))))))) I know all too well what it is like to be alone. I just don't want to talk to people now. I feel like I have very little in common with most people at this point.

Hugs,
susan

Anonymous said...

Lu  ~~
Move over...... we're in the same boat at the same time.....
Gentle Hugs,  ((((((LU)))))
Love,
Shayner

Anonymous said...

SUSAN  ~~  nOW WE ARE ALL THREE in the same spot and saying it out loud.........  Makes me feel a little less lonely now that I think of it........  

Still have Pneumonia but a bit better than last night & this am.  Still hard to breathe & last day on $$$Antibiotic$$$.  Cancelled Cardio appointment.....Best decision I could have made!  It's been pouring, with loud thunder and lots of lightening.  It would have been plain stubborn stupidity to get out and try to manage driving.

So, my Buds.... "wherever 2 or 3 are gathered...."
Huge Gentle Hugs
(((((((LU/Susan/Shayner)))))))))

Hope it's ok to include myself in the Huge Hugs?  Feeling  less isolated at the moment.

Anonymous said...

Hey lady...
Let's set up an Instant Message date...okay?
I was going to watch ER re-runs this morning. If I had known you were lonely... we could have "watched" them together via IM.
I am here.
I love you... and I know, I know I am a terrible phone person and correspondent.
I will now tuck my tail between my legs and go sit in the corner.
With Love,
Loretta

Anonymous said...

Oh do I know what it is like to be lonely?  I was just thinking today that some days its hard to be okay with just me.  Other days I am okay with it.  Since I have recently re-seperated from my husband I am very lonely.  I miss him.  I miss his smile. I miss everything.  Then I have to think okay no stress.  God forbid I cause stress to myself with the lupus.  As well as all the other problems.  You have a lot to be grateful for though.  A lot.  You have a loving husband that cares for you along with children.  What a bunch of stuff to be grateful for?  While I am at it I think I will go and write more in my journal and find something to be grateful for as well.  Keep writing.  I love it.  Tish

Anonymous said...

I agree with you all.  Lu, if it wasn't for online...I don't know what I would do!  I really don't!  It is lonely...I live for my kids...I push myself for them.  I am lucky too that I have a wonderful hubby... More on this tomorrow, I am exhausted, heading to bed...

{{{ Lu }}}}

Be well -  Dawn

Anonymous said...

I SO know exactly what you mean! I spent several years so totally alone I often wondered if ANYONE would even notice if I died... but as lame as it sounds right now, nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass. Have you thought about looking into a local support group for people with any of your same illnesses? Or maybe your therapist has or knows of a group therapy session you could be a part of.

And don't forget all of us here in J-Land, we may not be great conversationalists, but we DO listen, and we care about you.

Shadie