Sunday Morning

I'm tired this morning.  Not tired in the usual way. Well, that too, but I'm tired of everything that is going on now.  Waiting and wondering when things are going to be better again.  Or if they ever are.  Should I accept that my life is changed forever?  Or should I fight to return it to the way it was before?  My days are spent in my house lately.  The heat is horrible.  But the thing is keeping this A/C on all the time brings about a huge electric bill.  So what do I choose?  No one at the electric company understands that I need to keep the A/C on or otherwise I will most likely end up in the hospital.  I wonder if my health insurance would pay the electric bill.  LOL  It would be cheaper for them then for me to shut it off and end up sick and admitted to the hospital for a week.  Don't you think?

I  had an appointment with the pulmonologist last week.  The last pulmonary function test was as normal as it can be without being normal.  But that was in February.  He wants another one done.  Plus a sleep apnea study.  He is going to call for my recent chest X-rays and the CAT scan they did of my lungs during my last hospital stay.  He will study all of this and confer with my doctor.  I guess it's my PCP he will be talking with.  He suggested I lose weight, gee you think?  I explained to him that I was at my best weight (in a long time) when I got sick.  People were actually telling me at the time that I was getting too thin. Can you imagine?  Now, I have to lose this weight again.  He suggested weight loss surgery but I told him that I would like to try to lose it myself before I did anything as drastic as that.  He did tell me that it might be the only option for me considering all the meds I am on and their side effects.  Some increase my appetite (hence the weight gain).  We will revisit this subject in a few months after he talks with all of my other "Ologists".  I have to decide if I am thinking about this surgery because of the way I will feel afterwards.  Is it to feel better physically or emotionally?  I suspect it's both.  But that decision is a long way off. 

Have a wonderful Sunday,