Friday, September 3, 2004

A BREAK

I think I need to take a break for a while.  My mind has been filled with a fuore of emotions lately.  These emotions are suppose to be staying in my head but they are NOT.  They are drowning my consciousness. 

The phone has stopped ringing here.  Its funny how that happens when you ask people for help.  Yeah, yeah....... They say call if we can do anything to help you.  But when you actually call....... they say "No can do!"

No need to add pictures to this journal entry.  No pictures necessary.

I'm sad.  I'm scared.  I'm angry.  Why?  For no reason.  For every reason.  Because I  have Lupus and it's destroying my life. My health is bad but that's not really the reason I feel like this today today. I can't work and slowly things are getting out out hand.  I'm not dying this I know.  But it has become bad enough that I can't work.  My seizure activity is crazy.  My fatigue is crippling.  The pain is incapacitating.  This stupid Dystonia or whatever it is comes at me like a bull to a matador. My emotional disress  and tears are the red cape.  I am living on Xanax now.  My doctor tells me that this med is one of those used to treat Dystonia.  Although its a lighter formula.  Who knows?  All I want to do is sleep. All I want to do is sleep.  Sleep, Sleep, Sleep.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

((((((((((((Lu dear)))))))))))))))) sending you hugs and prayers-- wishing we lived closer to one another so I could say 'yes' I can do that for you.
loving you
karyl

Anonymous said...

(((((((((Lu)))))))))) I am so sorry that so much bad is happening in your life right now. I understand all too well where you are coming from. I wish there was more I could do to help you feel better. I know words alone cannot fix what is wrong but I hope you know that I love you and I know that I am better off because I know you. Hang in there.

Love you,
Susan

Anonymous said...

((((((((((LU))))))))))
I just found this entry. For some reason, the alert wasn't sent to my e-mail!
:(
I am so, so sorry that this is being such a terrible time for you.
The sleeping may be just what you need while your body works on healing.
(((((HUGS)))))
With Love, Loretta

Anonymous said...

thebaabee, I am so sorry to hear you feel these many emotions. First I must say I am enjoying your journal and have visited many times. It has been a very helpful journal to me and peps me up when I am down.
I would like to know more about one subject and that is Lechen Sclerosus. Its a very sensitive subject but needs to be brought out for many reasons. There are so many different things that needs to be said and much research to be done, and from your journals I have found subjects you select to be of much help to me , especially the feelings you have on different subjects and how you are affected , and what you think of them. Please don't close your journal. It is just too good of a journal to just be forgotten.
Willow