I'm grieving the loss of my life long friend today. Lupus has taken away my friend of 34 years. Well, my friend has left. She doesn't understand that Lupus has destroyed my intellect and that I am no longer capable of behaving as I once did. In her eyes what I forgot to do was unforgivable. She told me that as a friend I should have remembered to contact her to find out how her son's bar mitzha went because I was unable to attend the party. You see what happened was that the day of the ceremony and party there was a big blizzard. The ceremony was rescheduled for the next weekend and the party was rescheduled for a few months later in May. We attented the ceremony that next weekend and the little party held afterwards. Unfortunantly, we had a family party the day the "Big Party" was going to be held on. With my health situation deteriorating and my brain inflammation getting worse I forgot to mail the card.
I cannot prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I tried to call a few times. No return calls were made to me. My friend spoke to me in an Instant Message today. Explaining that she had things going on and that she is disappointed in me as a friend for not acknowledging her son's party. I accepted that I was wrong and apologized. I don't know if she was angry because I didn't send a gift or simply because I didn't call or send a card. I tried to explain the deterioration in my health status. But, it appeared to me that she didn't really care. I tried not to pass judgement because she said that she had things going on. But she did not elaborate on them. She told me that she could not talk to me now, that maybe one day she would be able to. She did tell me that she was sorry about my health and that one day maybe she would be able to speak to me. I reminded her that I did love her very much. All she said was "bye" and signed off of AOL. She was my friend for 34 years. This has left a very big hole inside of me. Not only for the loss of my friend, but the way that the friendship was ended.
Is life made up of what we can do for others and if we don't do those things then friendships are ended in Instant Messages? Friendships that have lasted years ended in 4 minute IMs. I will grieve today. Will you grieve?
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2 comments:
Lu...I am so so sorry. I went through this last year and was rejected by a friend because she couldn't handle me having lupus. And this was thrown at me after being there for the friend throughout the past year while she went through a life threatening health crisis!
Hurts like hell.
But, you are journeying down a road right now that is less traveled. And some of your friends are not able to make such a trip with you.
My hope is that there will be healing and maybe even you and she will be able to enjoy a more profound freindship if she can work through this.
Personal opinion...it is very hard for me to not feel angry at your friend right now. Surely, she could not realize how painful her behavior is? How can she be so blind to the fact that you love her and she is the one who really needs to be forgiven?
(((((LU)))))
I am so sorry dear one. This sort of thing happens to me all the time. One friend of five years just walked out my door one day and I have not herd a word from her in three years now. I guess she just could not understand my illness.or just not informed on the disaster this disease wreeks on us. It hurts so badly when they do that . Even church members no longer even call me or write or IM me and I ust to teach Sunday School and speak at affairs and all kinds of work at the church. But now only one or two of the members of my church contact me once and a while by cards saying get well soon. Yes it reallly, really hurts, but what can I do if they are not willing to become educated about lupus and try to find out what is really wrong with me. One thing though , they can never stop me from loveing and praying for them. At least I have that much.
Anyway that one friend that just walked out the door and never came back went to the store where my hubby cuts meat and he told her I was in the hospital and had been there for over a week. She said ok and went on her way. Still not a word from her. She hurt me bad, but I still love her and pray for her. We just have to get ust to these actions from others and do the best we can and the best we can do is to pray for them. They just don't understand and are not educated about lupus.
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