One just for today, Love me two times. I'm goin' away
Love me one time, cound not speak
Love me one time, yea my knees got weak
I'm trying to come to understand these new things the doctors are telling me. Its just all coming at me so very quickly. Mom tells me that God is not going to give me more than he know that I cannot not handle. She is so proud of me that I get up every day and get dressed and go about my life. But, I have news its getting harder each day. I am noticing little things. Subtle little things. Like talking with people I have noticed that I phase out. Sort of like that Charlie Brown and his teacher thing........ Like that "Wha Wha Wha" Thing. Its happening more and more often. Or my depth perception is getting worse. My reach is off. I grab for things and either they are closer or further than I have perceiveid. Other things are happening with my vision, hearing and general concentration. Its very scary. I am glad to be writing in this online journal. I have also begun to write down memories that I want my children to know. I keep them in a book. I have included pictures to go along with those memories. I have started to teach Lauren some of the recipes that I have cooked over the years. I also have joked with them that one day they will have to pop a video in the tape player to remind me who I am. Sort of like the movie "50 First Dates." They laugh but its not so far fetched. Its scares me. Cerebral Vasculitis/Lupus Cerebritis is not an illness to be taken lightly.
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2 comments:
(((((LU)))))
Luanne I just read your whole journal. You are a wonderful writer. I had no idea that you suffer with so many different disorders and diseases. God surely must love you to put so much on your shoulders. Your picture looks just like I thought you would look. You have a beautiful smile, even though you can`t feel it. Keep pushing through life my friend and you will one day be rewarded, rest peaceful rest. You are loved by many and by me. Donna
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