I wish my mind worked better.  I do get moments (they are far and in between) where I can think clearly.  During these moments I feel somewhat normal.  Today wasn't one of those days

Yesterday wasn't either.

At around 3:00 this unyielding, paralyzing feeling of fatigue came over me.  It was pretty horrible.  I had to lay down where I was standing.  I went right down onto the living room floor.  Nothing could get me up.  No amount of trying, nothing at all.  I remained there for almost 45 minutes.

I had to get up because I was in the middle of cooking dinner.  Thank goodness I had decided to put the chicken in the convection oven.

By the time Gary got home from work I was a mess.  It still hits me hard when these things happen.  It's easy to accept this illness when things are going fine.  But even during my better days I still do not have the stamina I once had.

He walked me to bed and told me to go online for a while.  I couldn't keep my eyes open and I had no energy to close up the laptop.  Thank God for my husband.  He is a gem.  He came in and took care of everything for me.

The next thing I knew it was midnight.  I was awoken by the kids.  Most of the time I have a houseful here.  I sat with the girls for a little while but had to drag myself back to bed.  I fell asleep instantly.  For the next thing I remembered was Gary kissing me goodbye at 6:30.  I reached out my arms to hug him and he put the blankets back over me.

I looked up again and it was after 9 am.  My body was in complete agony.  Once again every joint and muscle was in pain.  My head was killing me.  My eyesight was not great.  I kept seeing little flashing circles.

I struggled to the kitchen to get a drink so I could choke down my morning meds.  Maybe this will help I thought to myself.  Increasing my prednisone dosage to 20 mgs. 

About 2 hours later I took a fiorional.  I slept on and off for the rest of the day.  I ended up having to take 2 percocettes and a valium.  This combination seems to be helpful in alleviating my body and head pain. Now my body just feels as if it has been hit by a truck.  Believe me this is a huge improvement from the way I was feeling earlier.

Gary is working late therefore I didn't have to worry about cooking.  Not that he would have insisted on me cooking.  He is so very wonderful about this.  I am the one who feels guilty about not being able to do it.  Everyone manages to find something to eat.

My son ate farina earlier and then made a tuna sandwich.

Lauren is in the kitchen right now cooking for Greg.  Mac and Cheese and some leftover chicken.

I often wonder how others with younger children do it.  I also often thank God for a very loving and understanding husband.

I have an appointment with Dr. Goldstein early next month.  Let's see what my blood work shows.   And, what he has to say about this.

I do know that things with my health could be so much worse.  But on days like this when I know that I most likely will be feeling this way for weeks.  It pretty much sucks.

Hugs, Lu

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.  Proverbs 31:30

Sleepy Head

It's 4:30 and I am still awake.  Oh I slept some but nothing to speak of.  Right now I am finding myself getting very sleepy.  I'll go to bed now and will probably sleep late.  And, of course, today I really can't sleep late.  I have to put up the gravy so I can make lasagna.  But what else can I do?  If I don't get the sleep that I need I will be useless.

Therefore, good night gentle readers.  Have the Merriest of Christmases.  Enjoy the birthday of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

'Twas the Night Before Jesus Came

'Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker with baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

 

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be The Day!

The light of His face made me cover my head
It was Jesus! returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

 

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and this sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

 

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear;
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There's only one life and when comes the last call
We'll find that the Bible was true after all!

 

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, Thank God

thanks Jude

I'm pretty tired today.

Well, it's more than tired it's paralyzing fatigue.

AGAIN

Just what I need right before Christmas.

I'm happy we have decided to stay home this year.

I don't think that I could that I would be able to handle the car ride to New Jersey to my niece's house this year for Christmas Eve.

I'm just plain tuckered out.  Every bone hurts.  Every muscle hurts.  My hands are shaking and I feel just terrible.

I was so happy that I had been feeling quite well.  I made the mistake of trying to lower my prednisione dosage.  Apparently I cannot go below 10 mgs.  Even going to 8 or 9 doesn't cut it.

Oh well, I am going to have to wait for my body to like the 10 mgs again.

If I don't get to write again.  I want to wish all my friends a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.

Keep Christ in Christmas

        A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable; and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids

        She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year - Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.

        Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."

        From the back of the car, everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't worry, we already crucified Him." For the rest of the trip down, the elevator it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

        Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word.  If we all did, just think of how different this whole world would be.