Lately I have been thinking about my marriage.  I have a good marriage.  Those of you who have been reading my journal for a while know that every so often I write about my relationship with my husband.  Tonight I feel like writing about what I feel are the tools we all should have to make our marriages work.

Mad passionate love is great.  (I love it, yes.)  But for any marriage to endure the struggles life hands us we need to do a lot.  These things are not chores or hard to do if you are committed and in love.

The first thing is never react.  Respond.  We all fall short sometimes, but this is the most important of the marriage tools.

Build each other up.  Compliment each other.  Verbally let your partner know how much you appreciate him/her.  Let them know that you are proud of them.

Communicate........ emotionally, mentally and physically.  Share your feelings. Discuss things.  Have physical contact.  Not only sexual but non sexual.  An embrace........ And, spiritually.  Share dreams, hopes and prayers.

Marriage is not 50 50.  It's 100 100.  Give your all without any hidden agenda.  My husband is good at this.  He thinks first about me.  I feel inadequate in this. 

And, lastly........ remember your vows.  Remember those words you pledged to each other all those years ago.  Those vows you spoke when you had stars in your eyes and dreams in your mind.

Step over obstacles.  Get past them.  Love each other.