I'm lost in a fog that I cannot escape from. It's everywhere. My brain floats in this confusion and try as I may I feel trapped here.
Even though I try to live with this enemy called Lupus, I have surrendered more often than I wanted to. It's difficult to hold your head up when it physically is weighted down. When you cannot think. Therefore, unable to act.
Every muscle and joint in my body feels shackled. The perplexing fatigue saddens my life.
I understand that this will pass. I understand that some time whether it be soon or not that I will feel better. But that does not help me now.
I hate Lupus.
I know that this is because of my recent bout with pneumonia. But new things have happened. And, I find it difficult. Just when I have learned to live with what I think lupus has done, there are new and unpleasant things. My voice is raspy. Its been this way for weeks now. I am worried that this will not go away. Even with my doctor telling me it will, I don't think so.
I will get through this just as I have gotten through everything else. It still sucks.